Welcome to Another Edition of Ask a Kid!
Joon: The Joker
Chloe: The Person with No Sense of Humor (Kind Of)
Ask a Kid appears in Vol. 8, Issue 2 of Good Times, 826LA’s student-written newspaper, available for free in the Time Travel Mart.
1. I am an octopus and I want to play baseball. How can I make the team?
A: That depends on where you want to play. If you want to play baseball underwater, it won’t be a problem. Just blow your coach’s mind with your skills. If you want to play in the surface, that would be a problem. You would need equipment to breathe and you would need to look human. In other words, just play baseball underwater. It’s more effective.
2. I’m applying to graduate school, but I have a fun teaching job. Should I go to graduate school or be a 1st grade teacher?
A: I think that it’s better to go to graduate school, then go back to being a teacher. I understand that being a 1st grade teacher is fun, but you can always be one after going to graduate school.
3. Who do you date?
A: Well, first of all I am only in 5th grade which is too young to date. Second of all, my brother is only in 7th grade which is still too young to date. So the answer is, we don’t date anybody. (FYI)
4. My doctor says I can’t drink coffee anymore. But I love coffee! What should I do?
A: Drink something else. Drink tea, milkshake, hot chocolate, milk, and even maybe your own SALIVA! The possibilities are endless!
5. Do you get money by making newspaper?
A: It depends. If you are one of us, obviously you don’t get money. If you are a professional newspaper writer, you obviously get paid for writing the worldwide newspaper. 🙂
6. If babies are little people, are donuts little toilet seats?
A: No! They’re actually life preservers for lemming after they jump off a cliff to try drowning themselves! You should be using the doughnut you’re holding to save the poor lemmings!
7. I want fancy sneakers but they’re too expensive! How can I get enough money to buy them?
A: Well, you can start a juice stand. You get every kind of juice in the grocery store with the money you have. Then just start selling the juice. (or drink it for yourself) or if you are a bad kid then you can have the sneakers by stealing it.
Note to Self: Steal those shoes and you won’t get a Christmas present!
8. It’s scary and hard to be a grown up. What should I do to be happy again?
A: If you want to escape from reality, do something a kid would do to relieve your stress. Don’t worry about what others would say, just don’t take it too far. Play with the Batman toys you used to have. Build a pillow fortress. If you don’t like the idea, just take a relaxing vacation, drinking strawberry-banana smoothies. It’s the best feeling in the world.